Do you ever feel like your daily family routines just aren’t working?
Maybe your child takes forever to get dressed in the morning. Or at night, bedtime keeps getting pushed later and later.
“Why is it so hard even though we do the same things every day?”
― If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Sometimes, simply reviewing the small “flows” in your daily routine can make a big difference, helping your time with your child feel calmer and your days flow more smoothly.
In fact, these daily flows are a crucial foundation for your child’s sense of security and confidence.
In Positive Discipline, routines are introduced as “agreements made together with the child instead of using punishment.”
Research in psychology and education also shows that family routines have many positive effects on children’s development.
What is a Routine, and Why is it Important?
A routine is “living your day according to a generally predictable flow.”
Morning preparations, meals, bedtime reading — these repeated actions give children the reassurance of knowing what will happen next.
This predictable environment becomes a secure base for a child’s emotional wellbeing.
Within these consistent flows, children develop a sense of “I can do this” and “home is a safe, reliable place.”
💡 The Power of Family Routines in Child Development and Emotional Wellbeing (According to Research)
🏡 Early childhood routines and emotional stability
Large-scale research in the U.S. shows that the more consistent habits a family has — like eating together, reading together, singing — the more likely children are to develop stable emotions and social skills (Muñiz et al., 2014)¹.
Other studies suggest that children in households with stable daily flows are better able to calm themselves, focus, and learn social skills (Hosokawa et al., 2023)².
🌙 Bedtime routines as a foundation for learning
How children spend the time before bed is important.
Children who have bedtime routines — like reading a book after a bath or spending quiet time — tend to have better sleep quality, which in turn supports their focus, emotional balance, and overall wellbeing (Kitsaras et al., 2018)³.
Recent research reviews also suggest that everyday routines provide an important foundation for children’s emotional balance and ability to learn (Selman, 2024)⁴.
In other words, routines are more than just “household rules.”
They are an invisible support system that nurtures both a child’s sense of security and their ability to learn.
How Routines Support Brain Development
Repeating predictable daily flows is, in a way, a gentle kind of brain training.
Harvard researchers explain that daily routines help children practice thinking skills, adaptability, and self-control — collectively known as executive function (Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, 2011)⁵.
For example:
- Getting ready in the same order in the morning
- Cleaning up and putting on pajamas before bedtime
Through these simple flows, children naturally develop the ability to plan what to do next and regulate their own emotions.
Consistency in daily life also helps children adapt confidently to small changes.
This “daily stability” builds the resilience they need to navigate stressful periods.
🌱 From my experience through PosiFam, I’ve seen that families who incorporate small routines notice their time with children becomes smoother, calmer, and more cooperative. Children also experience a growing sense of accomplishment, competence, and confidence — moments that are celebrated together.
In fact, you can read this mother’s experience with PosiFam, which mentions how routines has made life smoother and made her time with her daughter much more peaceful. Read here if you’re interested 👉“A Mother’s Story: Growth, Joy, and Gentle Support” (Y.K., mother of a 3-year-old girl)
Even in busy days, having a predictable flow brings calm and space into the parent-child relationship.
Start Small
Routines don’t have to be perfect.
“Morning high-five before leaving the house” or “today’s thank-you at bedtime” —
Even one small, predictable flow can increase your child’s sense of security and happiness.
In Positive Discipline, routines are valued not as something decided by the parent, but as something decided together with the child.
For very young children, it’s important for parents to lead and create a predictable, reassuring flow.
As children grow, gradually increasing opportunities to make decisions themselves helps them feel like a true team member, which in turn boosts motivation and engagement.
Establishing routines at home is the first step in nurturing your child’s sense of security and confidence.
You don’t have to be perfect. Take one small step.
The foundation for a child’s growth and confidence lies not in special programs, but in the flow of daily life.
Instead of aiming for perfection, try introducing one small routine today.
If you’re unsure where to start, through coaching, I can help you create routines that fit your family. If you’d like to learn more or get support, feel free to reach out here.
Your family likely already has small “routine seeds.” 🌱
I would be happy to help them grow together with you.
References
- Muñiz, E. I., Silver, E. J., & Stein, R. E. “Family routines and social-emotional school readiness among preschool-age children.” Journal of developmental and behavioral pediatrics : JDBP vol. 35,2 (2014): 93-9. doi:10.1097/DBP.0000000000000021
- Hosokawa, R., Tomozawa, R., Katsura, T. “Associations between Family Routines, Family Relationships, and Children’s Behavior.” J Child Fam Stud 32, 3988–3998 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-023-02687-w
- Kitsaras, G., Goodwin, M., Allan, J. et al. “Bedtime routines child wellbeing & development.” BMC Public Health 18, 386 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-5290-3
- Selman, S. B., & Dilworth-Bart, J. E. “Routines and child development: A systematic review.” Journal of Family Theory & Review 16(2) (2024): 272-328. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12549
- Harvard University Center on the Developing Child. “Building the Brain’s ‘Air Traffic Control System’: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function.” Cambridge, MA: Harvard University, 2011. Retrieved from https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/building-the-brains-air-traffic-control-system-how-early-experiences-shape-the-development-of-executive-function/
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